"But you could explain better than that?" the kid in me said.

It's so hard to explain, and no on understands so why can't I write like I say it and I can know, (what) I mean, because the better I say it aloud the more el-oh-quent-ly I'm missunderstood (or/and the words believed better, but worse) thought-through for the wrong reasons, so 'll just blurt it choppy (in the only [out of] order it makes sense in).